There’s a definite problem here that many men will relate to, and many of you are seeking answers. We’re not relationship experts, but we are a team of tantric massage professionals who have all had a number of relationships in the past. So we are a collective group offering an opinion, which is far better than just one person writing an article about their opinion.
What’s the problem?
The first thing you need to do is identify the problem and how severe it is, or potentially serious it’s going to be. Most of this depends on how they broke up. There are three ways this can go:
- She broke up with him
- He broke up with her
- It ended amicably
The best one for you is probably the one where she broke up with him. If he finished the relationship, there’s always a chance that she is still hurt and may have feelings for him still. You need to check this and use your instincts. If she broke up with him, he may be a pest if he’s not over her. If it ended amicably, you may have to deal with them still being friends, or at least still in touch with one another. So here’s how you deal with it all!
Don’t talk about him
You’re not going to be able to stop her or anyone else discussing him, but the fact remains that he isn’t anything to do with you, and if you don’t talk about him or bring him up, you’re lessening the impact he has on your relationship. You’ll also appear much less jealous, even if you are.
If you are a little jealous or insecure, get yourself in check. Don’t worry about something that hasn’t happened yet, and for goodness sake don’t worry about something that’s already in the past. What the two of them had together has no relation to you and your girlfriend. The fact is that she’s with you and not him, so you’re already winning. And don’t worry about what might happen with him in the future, if you do this you can end up forcing something. Listen to your tantric massage professionals, we know what we’re talking about!
You don’t need to compete
This is important, and it’s something our tantric massage girls have said time and time again. Perhaps it’s because they’ve dated some pretty hot guys in the past (as you’d expect!) Some men get tremendously insecure about exes and it’s really not healthy. It’s not a competition between you and him. It doesn’t matter if he had a better job, or bigger muscles, or more money or whatever. Again, as we said earlier… She chose you! Plus, women don’t think about things like that as much as men anyway.
Be nice, but don’t let him take the piss!
If they’re still friends, be nice. You don’t have to go on windy walks with him or invite him to dinner, but if you meet, be polite, but standoffish. Make it clear that you are not a prick, but you don’t want to be his friend. With any luck he’ll get the message and keep his distance, at least from the two of you when you’re together. Which brings us onto our next point. Don’t allow him to inject his way into her life at every given moment, for meet ups, drinks, dinner etc. If you think he’s taking the piss, he more than likely is. But be a man and take your concerns to him and not her. But don’t do it behind her back, tell he that you’ve had a word with him and that you think he’s being inappropriate. Be careful though, they could be really good friends.
There’s much more
There really is a lot more to dealing with an ex, but so much relies on the individual situation. As a general rule of thumb, our advice would be to “go with your gut”. If it doesn’t feel right to you, then it’s probably not. At least it’s not right for you. Even if she finds it all alright, trust yourself, and realise that the two of you probably aren’t compatible. No point in signing up for the long haul if you don’t think the same!
Advice is always free at Chase Massage – Our tantric massage services however, are not!